Killers & Boosters

How to Use This Book

Why this book was compiled

Ever since we were forced into the custody case arena in 1991, we have looked for 'The Right Answer'. We wanted to know what the mediators, evaluators, and judges wanted to hear. We were willing to paint ourselves yellow if that's what they wanted. (I don't even look good in yellow.)

Since working with thousands of other parents and grandparents individually and in parent's rights groups, with child protective service agencies in nine major cities, attending seminars with counselors, attorneys and psychologists and interviewing attorneys, judges, mediators and guardian ad items; reading many books on custody and writing several of our own we have found out here is no "the right answer".

What you say affects how you think which affects how you behave which affects the results you get.

You are unique from any other person on earth. Your custody experience will be different from anyone else's, no matter how hard lawyers and the courts try to push you into an established mold and attempt to impose accepted attitudes and feelings. No one will feel or even understand what you feel.

This is a unique book compiled especially for you. You will get as much out of it as you put into it! You can read the whole book in a couple of hours and learn a little.


You can take the time to read and think about each listing.

First, decide if the listing has anything to do with what you are experiencing. If it doesn't, go on to the next. If it does apply to something you are experiencing, think about what the listing is saying to you. Take the time to see if there is some new way for you to see an incident, your situation, or the other party.

Above all, be very truthful with yourself. Allow yourself to step back. Look at incidents and situations from your child's point of view, the point of view of the other parent, the point of view of the court, and the point of view of the long-term impact of what is happening.

Often your instincts are affirmed by the listing. Sometimes, a listing will challenge the way you have been handling a situation.

The listing may help you understand why someone is behaving in a particular manner. The listing may help you change your life in a way that will make this process easier.

This is not a big life-changing program. It is small tips, bits, ideas that can help you NOW!

Parents who have this book say it has made them a new and different person when dealing with the stresses of a child custody case.

Remember, it is your choice as to what you want to do with your case, and only you can change it. That is, IF you really want to. Many, many people want things to change but don't want to change themselves. Why should they? They have so many people feeling sorry for them!

We all learned when we were small children that to get attention all we had to do was cry or sulk and we would get attention! Well, many of us are still in that old way of thinking! Have you fallen into that trap?

If you have the courage to change how you see things and what you can do about them, you can. This can be your first step.

This simple book was compiled to offer you some new ways to see and think about what is happening at this time in your life.

Helping Children and Parents since 1992