Killers & Boosters for Child Custody Cases

Ever since we were forced into the custody case arena in 1991, we have looked for 'The Right Answer'. We wanted to know what the mediators, evaluators, and judges wanted to hear. We were willing to paint ourselves yellow if that's what they wanted.

(I don't even look good in yellow.)

Years of working with thousands of other parents and grandparents individually and in parent's rights groups, with child protective service agencies in nine major cities, attending seminars with counselors, attorneys and psychologists and interviewing attorneys, judges, mediators and guardian ad litems; reading many books on custody and writing several of our own we have found out here is no "the right answer".

Our cases, lives, children, communities and the laws that affect us vary to such a huge degree that there are too many answers. This book deals with what others do to us, what we do to ourselves; love, pain, fear, the past, present, and future, perception and perspective. This is not a book of legal advice or pat answers just a book of suggestions and options. Use what you can and ignore the rest.

Examples of quotes and advice in

Custody Case Killers & Boosters

(Attitude Adjustment for Custody Case Litigants)

586. If the children live in more than one home, many favorite toys will need to be duplicated.

587. Weak is a person who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is a person who forces his actions to control his thoughts.

588. Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. James Thurber

589. The road to success is always under construction, and is littered with parking places.

590. Don't spend a Dollars worth of time on a $.10 decision.

591. Budget for visits. No matter what the reason for the distance. It is the parents' responsibility to make sure enough money is allotted for bus, train or plane fares.

592. The best things in Life are not things.

593. Fear is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness - the false sense of isolation that exists only in your imagination.

594. Forget about keeping track of which clothes belong at which house.

595. You have only one life. You can spend it laughing or crying.

596. You don't get to choose how you're going to die or when. You can only decide how you're going to live.

597. If your children live in a different city than you do, subscribe to the local news paper in their town. It will help you keep up with what is happening around them.

1447. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get what you wanted.

1448. Your character is your destiny.

1449. One cat at the mouse hole prevents 100 mice from entering. Sun Tsu

1450. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

1451. Don't make a permanent decision because of a temporary situation.

1452. In disagreements, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

1453. Others who disagree with us may not be wrong, bad or evil.

1454. Mind your own business.

1455. When someone ask you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

1456. Take a lesson from quantum physics. When you look at something your attention or observation changes it. What you choose to notice in the people and events going on around you alters what occurs- even before you decide what response you will make. Never underestimate the power of noticing.

1457. The three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

Killers & Boosters Examples

(Attitude Adjustment for Custody Case Litigants)

Examples of quotes and advice in

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